Sometimes it's hard to let go of things. We hold on so tightly, and it feels painful to loosen our grip and let God take the reigns sometimes. We want to be in control...
God wants us to let go. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
He wants to free you from what is holding you back. God is willing to carry our burden for us, and yet, how come we keep holding it ourselves?-- Because we are human. We like to be in control of things and like to try to control the situation.
I wanted to be in control of a certain situation that I have been struggling with. I wanted things to change in MY timing... I wanted everything to be okay in my timing. I was stressed and anxious about the future, and when people told me to let go and let God, I just couldn't... I tried, but then kept trying to take it back.
Letting go is a process. For me, every time I feel like I can control the situation again, I have to remind myself that I can't, but God can. I need to trust in Him and rely on him. I feel so free. God has this in his control.
What about you... Are you trying to control something that you can't?
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
Hurts and healings
Sometimes before healing there has to be pain. Sometimes you have to reopen wounds in order to cleanse them deeply and remove all the infection. A wound that isn't clean can't properly heal. It will only worse and become full of infection from the filth that has become trapped in it. When that happens, it can only become more painful to reopen and clean. Yet it has to happen or it will only become worse and more painful.
Life is full of wounds. Some of them are smaller, and some bigger. I'm the sort of person that tends to hide the pain I'm dealing with. I'm realizing that cleansing emotional wounds is a lot like physical wounds.
When you get a paper cut, sometimes it can be small or sometimes bigger. All the same it hurts for awhile but then it gets better. You don't try to open the paper cut because it only makes it sting more... But imagine for a second if after you got the paper cut you just ignored it and figured it'd get better and then when to go play in the dirt. You'd get filth in the wound. Unless you properly cleaned it with soap and water it would get infected and it would only become worse.
It's the same way with emotional hurts. Someone might say something hurtful towards you or might be mean to you. It causes hurt. It might start out small, but then it might get bigger because you didn't deal with it when you probably should have. It becomes infected and more painful. You try ignore it but it just grows and becomes bigger and more of problem to deal with. It becomes more painful.
Ignoring the hurt is not the solution. Hiding and trying to forget about the hurt is not the solution.
So, then when it becomes bigger and more painful, you decide to reopen it and try to get rid of all the filth. It's going to be painful. You're reopening and infected wound. It's gonna hurt. Sometimes, the other person involved in creating the wound in the first place won't admit it and doesn't want to deal with. But you can't. Realize that even though someone else created the wound, there is someone greater who can help you heal it. Jesus.
Emotional hurts are very painful if we allow them to become big. I know. I've hidden a lot of my life for a long time. I ignored the hurt and the pain that was forming and didn't take the time to clean it. Reopening the wounds is extremely difficult. Yet, it's good. It's cleaning the infection and making it better.
When you get a splinter in your finger, if you don't deal with it becomes infected and painful. But, if you pull it out when it happens, it won't have time to get infected. It's a good kind of pain. A pain that says, "It's okay now."
God heals.
Sometimes it's easier at first to ignore the small wounds and let them fester and get infected. Then you begin to realize how painful they are and how much you can't do because you're focused more on the pain than what you need to do or what God wants you to do.
It's better to deal with it in the beginning before the wound only becomes deeper and more painful to deal with later on. For me, it's painful. I've hidden a lot and I didn't realize it at first, but let it get infected because I ignored dealing with it to start... It built up and created infection... Tension... Pain....
Reopening the past; the wounds; the hurts is very difficult. I know. It hurts. The infection becomes exposed and it's disgusting to look at and is painful to deal with. But opening and cleaning a wound is a good pain. A pain that just once again means "It's okay now."
Does healing mean there won't be a reminder; a scar? No. There will always be that mark. The mark of pain and of healing... It's a reminder. A reminder of how you dealt with it and cleaned it so now it's just a scar. Painful to remember but no longer painful to deal with.
Life is full of wounds. Some of them are smaller, and some bigger. I'm the sort of person that tends to hide the pain I'm dealing with. I'm realizing that cleansing emotional wounds is a lot like physical wounds.
When you get a paper cut, sometimes it can be small or sometimes bigger. All the same it hurts for awhile but then it gets better. You don't try to open the paper cut because it only makes it sting more... But imagine for a second if after you got the paper cut you just ignored it and figured it'd get better and then when to go play in the dirt. You'd get filth in the wound. Unless you properly cleaned it with soap and water it would get infected and it would only become worse.
It's the same way with emotional hurts. Someone might say something hurtful towards you or might be mean to you. It causes hurt. It might start out small, but then it might get bigger because you didn't deal with it when you probably should have. It becomes infected and more painful. You try ignore it but it just grows and becomes bigger and more of problem to deal with. It becomes more painful.
Ignoring the hurt is not the solution. Hiding and trying to forget about the hurt is not the solution.
So, then when it becomes bigger and more painful, you decide to reopen it and try to get rid of all the filth. It's going to be painful. You're reopening and infected wound. It's gonna hurt. Sometimes, the other person involved in creating the wound in the first place won't admit it and doesn't want to deal with. But you can't. Realize that even though someone else created the wound, there is someone greater who can help you heal it. Jesus.
Emotional hurts are very painful if we allow them to become big. I know. I've hidden a lot of my life for a long time. I ignored the hurt and the pain that was forming and didn't take the time to clean it. Reopening the wounds is extremely difficult. Yet, it's good. It's cleaning the infection and making it better.
When you get a splinter in your finger, if you don't deal with it becomes infected and painful. But, if you pull it out when it happens, it won't have time to get infected. It's a good kind of pain. A pain that says, "It's okay now."
God heals.
Sometimes it's easier at first to ignore the small wounds and let them fester and get infected. Then you begin to realize how painful they are and how much you can't do because you're focused more on the pain than what you need to do or what God wants you to do.
It's better to deal with it in the beginning before the wound only becomes deeper and more painful to deal with later on. For me, it's painful. I've hidden a lot and I didn't realize it at first, but let it get infected because I ignored dealing with it to start... It built up and created infection... Tension... Pain....
Reopening the past; the wounds; the hurts is very difficult. I know. It hurts. The infection becomes exposed and it's disgusting to look at and is painful to deal with. But opening and cleaning a wound is a good pain. A pain that just once again means "It's okay now."
Does healing mean there won't be a reminder; a scar? No. There will always be that mark. The mark of pain and of healing... It's a reminder. A reminder of how you dealt with it and cleaned it so now it's just a scar. Painful to remember but no longer painful to deal with.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Gratitude list
It's been a rough week so far (I know, it's only Tuesday!), but it has been. So, I've decided to post a gratitude list, because sometimes I'm so focused on what is wrong with my life than what is right.
God has given me so much to be grateful for tonight.
1. Time with Him. - I'm grateful for the time that I get to spend really with God. Not with any other distractions or people. Just me and Him. I'm realizing that I need more of that time to grow with Him.
2. Conviction - Say what?! Who likes conviction?! I don't, but I'm grateful that God does and IS convicting me for things. As much as it hurts sometimes to be convicted and have to deal with the conviction, it's needed. If I wasn't ever convicted, would I ever change?
3. Caffeine/Coffee - Not quite as deep at the other two, but seriously, I need caffeine... And COFFEE.
4. Second chances - After conviction, God wants us to change. Sometimes that change is painful (as I'm experiencing.) God wants to change me. I have to let him, even if it hurts. God gives us second chances at things.
5. A time for everything - Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 talks about a time and a season for everything. Even though I might want something to change NOW, it might not be God's timing. Wait. Patience.
6. Cuddling with my little brother - YES! That doesn't happen often, but I was blessed to snuggle him for a little bit on the couch last night while we watch a movie of his pick :)
7. Espresso- Goes along with coffee. Still, love my espresso.
8. Family and Friends who support me in so many ways- Such a blessing!
I know that wasn't a long list or anything, but it's what I'm grateful for tonight... I have many too, but just those ones specifically stuck out to me. What about you? What are you grateful for today?
No matter how hard and discouraging your week has been so far, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Pride
For a long time, I never viewed myself as proud. I lack self-confidence and whenever the subject of pride came up, I just felt like that never applied to me. The past couple weeks, I have been convicted about pride. I am prideful.
A lot of people don't really think of the word fear when they think of pride. Pride is fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of feeling like a failure. Fear of letting people see you weak. It's all wrapped up in pride.
Being afraid to ask for help when you need it, is pride. Thinking and pretending that you know everything and have it all together and can handle it all yourself without help is a pride issue. You don't have it together all the time. You want to ask for help, but your pride keeps you back.
Pride says, "You can do all of this by yourself."
God says, "You need me to help you. You only need to ask."
I think, a lot of times we don't ask for help when we need it. Pride holds us back from growing.
I am afraid to ask for help. I need the help, but pride holds me back. Fear of what people might think when they see me weak... And human. We put on our strong face and pretend like we have it all together. We fake it. Our pride keeps us from gifts that could have been and could be.
Don't let that happen. I often wonder how many gifts I have missed because pride held me back. I wonder what life would be like right now if I hadn't let the pride creep in and take over during certain decisions. Regret.
It's okay to ask for help. To show your weakness... We're all human. All of us are sinners. We don't have it together. Our lives are messed up.... Jesus fixes that.
Letting God work in me and through me this year has been a challenge. I have realized how much of it was a pride issue. I had to let go of myself to let God take over. I wrestled. I fought. My pride didn't want me to ask for help from the one I love most. The Devil didn't want me turning to Christ.
God has began to fix a lot of the pride in my life. He is working. If you let him he will work. Let God take that pride and let yourself be HUMBLED in his presence and rest with the peace of knowing that God has you.
A lot of people don't really think of the word fear when they think of pride. Pride is fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of feeling like a failure. Fear of letting people see you weak. It's all wrapped up in pride.
Being afraid to ask for help when you need it, is pride. Thinking and pretending that you know everything and have it all together and can handle it all yourself without help is a pride issue. You don't have it together all the time. You want to ask for help, but your pride keeps you back.
Pride says, "You can do all of this by yourself."
God says, "You need me to help you. You only need to ask."
I think, a lot of times we don't ask for help when we need it. Pride holds us back from growing.
I am afraid to ask for help. I need the help, but pride holds me back. Fear of what people might think when they see me weak... And human. We put on our strong face and pretend like we have it all together. We fake it. Our pride keeps us from gifts that could have been and could be.
Don't let that happen. I often wonder how many gifts I have missed because pride held me back. I wonder what life would be like right now if I hadn't let the pride creep in and take over during certain decisions. Regret.
It's okay to ask for help. To show your weakness... We're all human. All of us are sinners. We don't have it together. Our lives are messed up.... Jesus fixes that.
Letting God work in me and through me this year has been a challenge. I have realized how much of it was a pride issue. I had to let go of myself to let God take over. I wrestled. I fought. My pride didn't want me to ask for help from the one I love most. The Devil didn't want me turning to Christ.
God has began to fix a lot of the pride in my life. He is working. If you let him he will work. Let God take that pride and let yourself be HUMBLED in his presence and rest with the peace of knowing that God has you.
Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.
-James 4:10
Thursday, January 1, 2015
New Year, New Beginnings
"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in
the wasteland."
~Isaiah 43:18-19
Like any year, 2014 has brought many challenges. Yet it has been one of the best years of my life. I have learned so much from it. I continue to look back on it and smile and maybe cry at the things I experienced and the joys I found. Sometimes, I wish I could repeat many of the moments that happened this past year... But I can't.
That's the beauty of memories. A moment, no matter how small or how big, wraps itself up into a simple picture in your mind that you can replay over and over again. I may not be able to relive moments from 2014, but I can remember them.
Looking back at the beginning of 2014, I can safely say that much has changed. It has been amazing to compare myself then and now. Who I was and who I am now. A lot has changed, yet a lot seems to be the same.
I'm very excited to see where God takes me this year. I'm excited to see myself grow and be changed by God. I'm excited to see how God is going to work this year, not just in my life, but also in the lives of others.
God is doing a new thing this year (Isaiah 43:19). I can't wait to see what it is. He is making a way, where there seems to be no way. Praise be to God!
2015 is a year of new beginnings, new adventures, and new experiences. I am going into this year with no expectations... I'm doing this because I don't want my expectations of 2015 should like to get in the way of God's expectations. I want to be willing and open to accept whatever he wants and I don't want myself and my opinions and feelings to be the one stopping what he wants me to do.
Maybe this year has been hard for you too. What are some of the joys that you've found this past year? What are some of things that God has blessed you with?
I'm very excited to see where God takes me this year. I'm excited to see myself grow and be changed by God. I'm excited to see how God is going to work this year, not just in my life, but also in the lives of others.
God is doing a new thing this year (Isaiah 43:19). I can't wait to see what it is. He is making a way, where there seems to be no way. Praise be to God!
2015 is a year of new beginnings, new adventures, and new experiences. I am going into this year with no expectations... I'm doing this because I don't want my expectations of 2015 should like to get in the way of God's expectations. I want to be willing and open to accept whatever he wants and I don't want myself and my opinions and feelings to be the one stopping what he wants me to do.
Maybe this year has been hard for you too. What are some of the joys that you've found this past year? What are some of things that God has blessed you with?
Monday, December 22, 2014
Christmas joy
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign:
The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a
son, and they will call him Immanuel.
~ Isaiah 7:14
It's so easy to get wrapped up and caught up in all of the Christmas festivities that are happening this time of year. Shopping for that perfect gift. Wrapping each present so carefully. Listening to the joyous Christmas sounds.... There is so much happening that sometimes we just get stressed out.
That's not how Christmas is supposed to be. Christmas isn't about giving or getting... It's a time to remember the birth of our Savior. The one that God sent down to earth from heaven in the form of fragile infant.
The miracle of Christmas happened in a stable.
The King of kings was born in a stable. Placed in a manger. The God who created the universe sent his perfect son down to earth in the form of tiny infant child.
God sent his perfect son, Jesus Christ, down to this crazy messed up world. Jesus sacrificed himself for us. Not only did he die such a horrible death for us, but he became one of us. He gave up his perfect self to be one of us. To live around the sin of this world, yet never be apart of it. He was perfect.
Christmas is a time to remember the birth of Jesus. Reflect on what really happened when Jesus was born. I think that sometimes during Christmas, we might just accidentally forget that Mary and Joseph were human. Mary was indeed a virgin, yet was only able to give birth to Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit.
So many miracles happened that first Christmas. Jesus' birth was prophesied for centuries before it actually happened. When it did happen, a virgin was chosen to give birth to Jesus through the Holy Spirit. Jesus wasn't born in a palace of gold, he was born in the lowest of places. He was born in a stable. Among animals... Jesus was placed in a manger.
Jesus came to us as a humble, fragile infant. He came to experience life as a human. He came to die for us and take our punishment on the cross... Because without his death and resurrection, the payment would never be paid.
Jesus is the miracle of Christmas.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Thanksgiving and coming weeks
Had a great Thanksgiving, and hope you all did as well. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family, amazing friends, and Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
I don't know how much time I will find in the coming weeks to post... We have family coming home from Christmas and things to prepare for. I get more information about my DTS in January 2015... I can't wait!
I hope you all had a BLESSED Thanksgiving. Thank you for your prayers and support!
I don't know how much time I will find in the coming weeks to post... We have family coming home from Christmas and things to prepare for. I get more information about my DTS in January 2015... I can't wait!
I hope you all had a BLESSED Thanksgiving. Thank you for your prayers and support!
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