The past week

   This week has been crazy and reality has been hitting me that I really truly am leaving for this DTS in less than 3 months. Like, seriously. The DTS starts in 87 days, but I will be leaving in 85 days.

   I've kinda been a little bit of trainwreck lately. The thought of ME leaving home and leaving everything and everyone I love, just seems so incredibly painful. I've watched other graduates leave home, and now it's my turn.

   While a lot of other graduates have a good idea of what they want to do with their life, I am sitting here and thinking, "Well... I wish I knew."

   I am the kind of person who likes a solid plan. Well, guess what....  I don't have one for life right now. I think God must be laughing at me half the time because I try to mentally come up with a life plan, but then just give up because I realize at this point, I really don't have any idea.

   Whenever I do come up with a plan, it NEVER goes the way I expect it to.

   The pastor at my church one morning said, "I like to have all my little ducklings all in a row, organized and tidy... But God usually comes along and let's them swim wherever they want..."
Maybe I'm paraphrasing a bit, but the point is still there. Whenever I think I have my life organized and I have a semi-solid idea of what I want to do, God comes along and changes all of that. Not because he just wants to have a good laugh while I try to control my ducks again, but because he loves me and doesn't want me burdened with something I don't need to be burdened with (i.e. a life plan.)

   I have tried really hard to give up trying to control the events of my everyday life, and I'm also trying to just take everything day by day and live in the moment. However, like this week, that is not working. I can't help but think of things and people that I will miss when I leave... I'm just that way.

   However, I do know that God wants me to do this. I have talked to a couple of the DTS staff, and the DTS director, and am confident that this is where I am supposed to go. It is. It's going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I know I will be pushed beyond my cozy comfort zone. For those of you who know me, know how difficult that will be for me. I like my comfort zone, and knowing what I CAN do and what I can't. Yet, God keeps calling me beyond that... Usually to things I just don't think I can do. Funny, right?! (Btw- it is only funny AFTER I do it.)

   Anyways, that is a little bit of what has been going on this past week. This coming week life is going to get more crazy and beautiful due to the fact that my family is all coming home! All three of my older siblings, their husbands or wives, and their children! So, I'm not sure I will get more of a chance to blog until the end of July... I hope you all enjoy your summer!