Thursday, August 20, 2015

New focus

My focus has been chosen.

   I will be doing the worship focus. While singing and music are a part of worship, this will focus more on what the heart of worship truly is.

   The countdown until my DTS orientation day is now 30 days. Wow.

   I feel like I'm about to start an adventure where I don't know anything. Yet, maybe that is a good thing.
I think my lack of confidence and places where I know I am weak, will be where I can see God working in me.

   God has given me peace that this focus, Worship, is what I need to do. I need to learn how to worship, and what worship truly is. I think sometimes I get caught up in going through the motions of worship... I don't want to go through the motions of worship anymore, and have been praying that God would help me with this. Maybe, this is why my original focus got cancelled. God is good. All the time.

   I can do this, through Him.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Unexpected changes

   Most of you are unaware of what happened last week, so I feel like I should share it just so people can be praying...

    Thursday of last week, I found out that my DTS focus was cancelled. I had chosen Justice and Mercy for my focus, because it worked with kids. When I found out that it was cancelled, I immediately felt very disappointed and confused, and even a bit angry.

   How could God bring me this far to have it get cancelled?

   I had two options. I could quit or I could still do a DTS but with a different focus. My first thought was, "I am going to quit. It's obvious that I made the wrong decision by having it get cancelled." However, I began to pray about it. I wanted to still do a DTS, but if now wasn't the right time I prayed that God would help me be okay with that. But, I also prayed that if it was the right time, that he would give me a peace about it and reveal to me a new focus. \

   After praying, I felt strongly that I was still supposed to do this. God brought my attention to YWAM Minneapolis through the Justice and Mercy Focus, but he wants to push me further than that. Victoria, the girl I was supposed to be doing the Justice and Mercy focus with, pointed out that she felt like we had both picked it because out of all of focuses it appealed to us. It would push us, but at the same time it would be safe. We both agreed that God wants more from us right now.


  I have three focuses I can still chose from: Dance, Outdoor Adventure, and Worship. I completely eliminated Dance right off, because I just don't dance... So, I'm choosing between Outdoor Adventure and Worship. 

   Honestly, I'm not sure which one yet. I feel like God could just be giving me a choice where either one would be okay... Both focuses will make me very uncomfortable, but in a good way. They will push me. A LOT. I am just asking for prayer as I chose what focus I will do. I am still leaving in September to do this DTS, because God has told me that NOW is the right time.

   One of my favorite songs, Oceans, has been kicking my butt since Thursday. It got to the point a couple days ago where I shut off the radio when it came on (which was pointless since a friend requested to turn it back on...) Every time I hear that song, God says, "You prayed for this, remember?"

   Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters 
Wherever you would call me....

   I did pray that song as my prayer for over a year now. And I am continuing to pray it. I want God to stretch me and push me to where I am at a place where I can only rely on Him. He is.

   Anyways, thank you for your thoughts and prayers as I continue this journey. I will chose a focus (hopefully this week). God is amazing, and I am truly excited to see what he will do in me and through me on this DTS. Love you all.