Gratitude list

It's been a rough week so far (I know, it's only Tuesday!), but it has been. So, I've decided to post a gratitude list, because sometimes I'm so focused on what is wrong with my life than what is right.

God has given me so much to be grateful for tonight. 

1. Time with Him. - I'm grateful for the time that I get to spend really with God. Not with any other distractions or people. Just me and Him. I'm realizing that I need more of that time to grow with Him. 

2. Conviction - Say what?! Who likes conviction?! I don't, but I'm grateful that God does and IS convicting me for things. As much as it hurts sometimes to be convicted and have to deal with the conviction, it's needed. If I wasn't ever convicted, would I ever change? 

3. Caffeine/Coffee - Not quite as deep at the other two, but seriously, I need caffeine... And COFFEE.

4. Second chances - After conviction, God wants us to change. Sometimes that change is painful (as I'm experiencing.) God wants to change me. I have to let him, even if it hurts. God gives us second chances at things. 

5. A time for everything - Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 talks about a time and a season for everything. Even though I might want something to change NOW, it might not be God's timing. Wait. Patience. 

6. Cuddling with my little brother - YES! That doesn't happen often, but I was blessed to snuggle him for a little bit on the couch last night while we watch a movie of his pick :) 

7. Espresso- Goes along with coffee. Still, love my espresso.

8. Family and Friends who support me in so many ways- Such a blessing! 

I know that wasn't a long list or anything, but it's what I'm grateful for tonight... I have many too, but just those ones specifically stuck out to me. What about you? What are you grateful for today? 

No matter how hard and discouraging your week has been so far, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. 

Pride

For a long time, I never viewed myself as proud. I lack self-confidence and whenever the subject of pride came up, I just felt like that never applied to me. The past couple weeks, I have been convicted about pride. I am prideful.

   A lot of people don't really think of the word fear when they think of pride. Pride is fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of feeling like a failure. Fear of letting people see you weak. It's all wrapped up in pride.

   Being afraid to ask for help when you need it, is pride. Thinking and pretending that you know everything and have it  all together and can handle it all yourself without help is a pride issue. You don't have it together all the time. You want to ask for help, but your pride keeps you back.

  Pride says, "You can do all of this by yourself."
  God says, "You need me to help you. You only need to ask."

   I think, a lot of times we don't ask for help when we need it. Pride holds us back from growing.
I am afraid to ask for help. I need the help, but pride holds me back. Fear of what people might think when they see me weak... And human. We put on our strong face and pretend like we have it all together. We fake it. Our pride keeps us from gifts that could have been and could be.

   Don't let that happen. I often wonder how many gifts I have missed because pride held me back. I wonder what life would be like right now if I hadn't let the pride creep in and take over during certain decisions. Regret.

   It's okay to ask for help. To show your weakness... We're all human. All of us are sinners. We don't have it together. Our lives are messed up.... Jesus fixes that.

    Letting God work in me and through me this year has been a challenge. I have realized how much of it was a pride issue. I had to let go of myself to let God take over. I wrestled. I fought. My pride didn't want me to ask for help from the one I love most. The Devil didn't want me turning to Christ.

   God has began to fix a lot of the pride in my life. He is working. If you let him he will work. Let God take that pride and let yourself be HUMBLED in his presence and rest with the peace of knowing that God has you.

Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.

-James 4:10

 

New Year, New Beginnings

"Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? 

I am making a way in the desert and streams in 

the wasteland." 

~Isaiah 43:18-19

   Like any year, 2014 has brought many challenges. Yet it has been one of the best years of my life. I have learned so much from it. I continue to look back on it and smile and maybe cry at the things I experienced and the joys I found. Sometimes, I wish I could repeat many of the moments that happened this past year... But I can't. 

   That's the beauty of memories. A moment, no matter how small or how big, wraps itself up into a simple picture in your mind that you can replay over and over again. I may not be able to relive moments from 2014, but I can remember them.

   Looking back at the beginning of 2014, I can safely say that much has changed. It has been amazing to compare myself then and now. Who I was and who I am now. A lot has changed, yet a lot seems to be the same.

   I'm very excited to see where God takes me this year. I'm excited to see myself grow and be changed by God. I'm excited to see how God is going to work this year, not just in my life, but also in the lives of others.

   God is doing a new thing this year (Isaiah 43:19). I can't wait to see what it is. He is making a way, where there seems to be no way. Praise be to God!

   2015 is a year of new beginnings, new adventures, and new experiences. I am going into this year with no expectations... I'm doing this because I don't want my expectations of 2015 should like to get in the way of God's expectations. I want to be willing and open to accept whatever he wants and I don't want myself and my opinions and feelings to be the one stopping what he wants me to do.

   Maybe this year has been hard for you too. What are some of the joys that you've found this past year? What are some of things that God has blessed you with?